As soon as I turned thirteen, I started dreaming of having my own place. I always told myself I’d have a cute little apartment by the time I turned eighteen (lol). Next thing I knew, I was nineteen, working my first job, thinking I could get my own place within a couple months. It didn’t take long before I realized I was going to have to step it up and make more for that to happen. So I got a job that paid better. Still didn’t happen. I feel like I made enough to share a space with a roommate, but I had to buy a car, after being without one for over a year. So there went those checks.
Year after year, I wondered if it would be the year it finally happened. And at the end of all those years, I always ended up nowhere near my goal. Most of the money I made went to my car payment, insurance, student loans, food, and my phone. I was making more money than I’ve ever made, and still couldn’t keep up. Reality was beginning to hit me hard. It wasn’t long before my hope of ever having my own roof turned into hopelessness. I would go in circles in my mind every day, trying so hard to find that, “Ah-ha!” moment that would make me successful enough to at least find a shabby studio apartment.
But it never happened. Nothing worked. It seemed like everywhere I looked was getting more and more expensive every day (which it is, being only thirty minutes away from Nashville. Why is Nashville so popular, again?).
My fiancé and I have saved, and saved, and saved, only to have something happen that took it away every time we started getting momentum. Cars breaking down, getting scammed, unexpected insurance increases, situation after situation kept getting in the way of our goal of having our own home.
Anyone who has known me in the last five or six years, knows about my obsession with the tiny house movement. I have spent countless upon countless hours dreaming, drooling, and pretend-planning my future tiny, scrolling endlessly through Tiny House Swoon’s website.
But I knew it was a far-fetched dream. I knew that the chances of us finding the right amount of land at our age was just a fairy tale. So I settled with simply hoping for anything. A trailer, an apartment, a small shabby house we luckily got a good deal on, a nice cardboard box. My tiny house dream was just that. Nothing more than a fantasy. It was way too much to ask from God. I’ve always had this negative belief that God doesn’t care about what I want. I just need to be thankful for what He provides and don’t bother asking for anything, because I have no place to. Who am I to ask God for something as material as a cute tiny house?
I’m gonna give it one last shot.
When I finally had the house to myself, I got down on my knees, and prayed.
God, you know the desires of my heart. You know my dreams, but you also know my plan. If this is not in your will for me, I accept. Father, I’m not asking for a gold-plated mansion on top of a hill. All I want is a cute shed on wheels in the middle of nowhere.
Genesis 15:1-2 (CSB)
15 After these events, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision:
Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield;
your reward will be very great.
2 But Abram said, “Lord God, what can you give me, since I am childless and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?”
Weeks passed with no sign of answers. Feeling as though I’m running out of time to find a home, get married, and start a family, I was so overwhelmed with the feeling of being stuck in our current situation, feeling as though we were never going to get out of it. Living on our own and settling down was a dream of mine that was beginning to diminish rapidly. I began trying to reason with it, deciding that it just wasn’t in the cards for us. This is our life, and we just have to get over it. It was getting more and more difficult to get out of bed each morning. Just picking clothes up off the floor was an exhausting task. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and just wanted to be alone. Sleep was all I could process, it was the only thing that comforted me as I wrestled with the unknown of our future.
My soon-to-be mother-in-law finally wanted to get out of me what was wrong, and I broke down crying as I rambled about everything I had been holding in for the last few weeks. I was just so frustrated with life not moving. With this rapidly growing desire to become a wife and mother, and with no answers or direction, I felt like God was giving me tough love. I truly felt hopeless, my faith was fleeting, and my expectations were low.
Before ending the conversation, she said to me, “God knows what you want. He knows you want to be a mother, and that you want your own place to live. He’s going to take care of you.” I nodded, told her thank you, and went back to bed feeling even more drained.
Genesis 15:5 (CSB)
5 He took him outside and said, “Look at the sky and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” Then he said to him, “Your offspring will be that numerous.”
Two weeks later, she knocked on our bedroom door, peeked her head in, and asked my fiancé if he’d told me yet.
Told me what?
She turned to me and said, “Remember how we were talking about how God just… does things?” Afraid to speak, I nodded.
My fiancé’s great grandmother has lived on these three acres of land since the sixties. She has this cute little house on the first acre that they built when they got the land, and has lived there ever since. I’ve been to her house several times and had no idea what lied beyond her backyard. I had no clue anything more was even back there.
Behind her house are the woods, including a creek, and another small (now abandoned, but very cool) house in the very back of the lot. For the last two years, she’s wanted to ask how we felt about inheriting the other two acres behind her house. But because she thought there was some particular reason we were still living with my fiancé’s parents, she kept it to herself. That is, until about a month ago, when she finally asked my mother-in-law what we might think about having that land.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we wanted it. Bad. We wanted to cry tears of joy and celebrate this incredible gift, but we were hesitant. A few years ago, we were in a situation where we thought we found a place, sent the deposit, and found out the hard way that we were scammed out of $500. It broke our hearts. Fearing that this would be a similar situation (not that we would get scammed, but that it just wouldn’t work out), we’ve put off all the excitement until it was officially in her will: signed, stamped, and legal. In the meantime, we went and checked out our possible future home.
Flat areas privately surrounded by trees and bushes, a bridge crossing the creek into the back lot, a rustic old swing where a new one would one day sit, a huge lot of open vibrant green land on the other side of the small fence, the sun peeking through all of this gorgeous, almost majestic, scene.
Not only is there a perfect spot for a tiny house, there are three perfect spots to choose from that we’ve already narrowed down to two. And not only does this land give us options for our future tiny, but it’s the actual perfect spot for a wedding ceremony.
How is this even real?
Galatians 3:29 (CSB)
29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, heirs according to the promise.
A couple weeks ago, our pastor did a sermon called Seed of Faith, where he talks about Abram’s fleeting faith in God’s promise to give him children. All these years had passed with no answers. But God renewed his faith, and God proved faithful.
I truly felt connected with Abram in this story, as I was beginning to lose faith in my future, altogether. The more God proves His faithfulness with this whole situation, the more I think of Abram and Sarai (later known as Abraham and Sarah. Coincidence?). How even though they had to wait an insane amount of years before anything finally happened, God still followed through.
This is the messiest my talk-notes have ever looked. It seemed like every word he preached was meant for me. I’ve heard of Abram and Sarai several times throughout my life, but I had no idea how much I’d ever relate to them. For anyone who needs encouragement, here’s a few things that spoke to me:
- You have no idea what God may produce through a single seed planted in faith.
- We tend to think addition, God thinks multiplication.
- “If God met all of your expectations, He wouldn’t have the chance to exceed them.”
- “Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean God’s not doing it.”
- “Just because you don’t see the fruit, doesn’t mean the tree hasn’t taken root.”
Matthew 17:20 (CSB)
20 “Because of your little faith,” he told them. “For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will tell this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
Okay, God. This isn’t funny. If this is Your will, I will be filled with more gratitude than ever before in my life. If not, then I get it. You’ve shown what you can do and how quickly you can make things happen when it’s on Your time. But please, please, let this be your will.
I only told immediate family and two close friends, so we could have a few more prayers. I honestly didn’t even want to tell them, at all, until everything was said and done. I didn’t want to jinx anything or be embarrassed if nothing ended up happening.
After all the praying and anticipation, as of this past Monday, the will was signed, stamped, and is now official. We are now budgeting for a trailer to build on, making official design decisions, and praising God for this incredible gift.
Advice Tip #37: Even if you feel like you have nothing left in you to give, I urge you to give it one last shot. Pray your heart out to our Creator, give Him your worries and your desires. Ask for His help by giving you patience as you wait for His answer, and live by His timing. Abram only wanted a son, and God fulfilled His promise in more ways than Abram could fathom.
Have you planted a seed of faith? Are you watering and nurturing that seed by continuously seeking God and living by His Word? Or are you struggling and need encouragement? What is something you’re having to put a lot of faith towards lately, and what have you learned so far? How has God proven faithful in the past?
He has not forgotten you. He is there. And He knows.
Thanks for reading,